Sarah Grace is 41, a mother of two, from the U.S
As mothers, we are told to live for our children, and we believe this because when a new baby comes into our life (birthed, adopted, fostered, etc.) we must live for them. If we don’t live for them they won’t thrive.
As mothers, when we welcome that baby into our life, we are undone. Who we were is no longer who we are or ever will be. Motherhood, early motherhood, isn’t just the process of birthing a child. It is the process of birthing a new version of ourselves. And we know this. We just don’t articulate it well. We don’t have language for it. I often hear it called the newborn haze.
It felt like there were moments of crystalizing clarity around who I was and then it would fade away and I would go back to being undone
I remember during those first three months, known as the 4th trimester, my daughter’s essence came onboard. It was so amazing to witness and as I reflect almost 6 years later, I was doing the same thing.
I was in a swirl, a cocoon of early motherhood. Change and unease were the only constants. It felt like there were moments of crystalizing clarity around who I was and then it would fade away and I would go back to being undone. But just as she was finding herself more each day, I was too. I just couldn’t see it as clearly.
This is an extract from The Undoing of Modern Motherhood by Sarah Grace, founder of www.raisingabossbaby.com